Old wives' tales

Ok, you know that look I get when I'm trying to be patient, but I'm about to lose it? You know the one. Someone's talking to me, and my eyebrows go up, and my arms are crossed, and I'm usually nodding really slowly...If you would like to not be on the recieving end of this look, I've a bit of advice.

PLEASE DO NOT FEED ME OLD WIVE'S TALES!

That's right! I do not wish to "feed a fever, starve a cold" or any number of equally inane things. I'm continually amazed by the number of grown, well-educated people who believe in this stuff. And, trust me, having a sick child draws these suggestions like flies. I refuse to take medical advice that originated from a time where people were old at thirty, and died at fifty. Shouldn't that tell you something? Ok, chicken soup. Good for colds..but believe it or not, chicken soup has no mystical properties! Chicken soup is like 90% broth. Warm, clear liquids (like chicken broth, or tea, or even hot water) help loosen congestion and increase blood flow to the throat, which helps heal sore throats. And while we're at it, just because the Chinese people do something, doesn't mean it's some all-powerful remedy. I have great respect for the Chinese culture-they've been around a lot longer than us, after all-but I refuse to ingest 500 milligrams of shark cartilidge every morning. It's not gonna cure my knees. I also don't believe in feng shui or whetever the heck it's called. My bedroom is arranged the way I like it and it's staying that way! And, though I like the way citrus smells, it doesn't energize me. Lavender doesn't relax me. And magnetic bracelets are silly. And I don't believe in voodoo, or karma, or acupuncture...