What not to do to your hair

I used to from time to time buy those hot oil treatments for your hair. I've been meaning to get some again because the ends of my hair are getting pretty dry, but I keep forgetting when I go to the store. I have heard, however, that olive oil is just as good for your hair as the stuff you buy in the store, so I thought I'd give it a try.

Since I was working from a bottle and not from a squeeze tube, I couldn't decide on the best way to apply it to my hair. I finally decided it would be best to bend over the sink and pour the oil on the ends of my hair.

That wasn't the best way. I got it all over my scalp and everywhere. But oh well. I wrapped it in plastic and sat around for awhile. Then I washed my hair, shampooing twice to get the oil out.

Time passed.

At 10:00, as I was getting ready for bed, I happened to look in the mirror, and ohmygod I have French fry grease head. I mean, ew. So I got back in the shower and gave it shampoos number three and four. It still felt oily. I remembered a girl I knew that worked at a salon had told me once that they would mix in a little baking soda with the shampoo to rinse out all the impurities. I had done it occasionally in the past, but not very often because it dries out my hair really bad. That being the aim now, though, I decided to go for it. So I run dripping down the hall at 10:30 to get the baking soda from the kitchen and use it with the shampoo for wash number five.

It made it worse. Now my hair was oily and gritty.

At this point, I was getting pretty desperate. I had gotten out of the shower and, wanting help from anywhere, I was reading the baking soda box. It said:

"For pet shampoo: rub into pet's fur, comb or brush out."

Why not? So I dumped baking soda all over my wet, oily, gritty head. It was a Bad Idea.

Now I had bird nest hair. I couldn't even get a brush in it. So back into the shower for shampoos number six and seven. Did I mention that I use shampoo for dry hair? Not the best stuff for removing oil.

It was almost 11:00 when I got out the last time, and by then I had to go to bed and hope for the best.

My hail was still a little oily in the morning. I went ahead and straightened it anyway. In retrospect, I should have gotten the dish soap to wash the oil out, but I didn't think of it. So anyway, when I got home, Mike hugged me and then said "The way your hair smells reminds me of spaghetti."

I went and turned on the shower. I brought dishsoap this time.

Worst. Fans. Ever.

Last night, Mike Modano scored his 503rd career goal, becoming the highest-scoring American-born player in the league ever. This goal came literally moments after Stephane Robidas was sucker-punched and had to be carried from the ice on a stretcher. This is a huge deal. Modano has not only done what no American has done before, he did it all with one team. He's been a Star, and will be a Star, his whole career. And what did the trashy, classless Nashville fans do? They booed. They booed when he scored, and they booed every time he touched the puck after that. They chanted "Modano is a baby." They were, in short, horrible. What a bunch of creeps. Geez.

Our dryer is broken, our hot water heater is broken and I need two new tires. A winning lotto ticket would be nice.

Bwahahaha!!!

My car's paid off and yours isn't! Nyah!!!